Just when you thought it was safe to enter the water, Jim lad.

Fortunately during these difficult times, the forces of harmonious ascent onto the global stage have an ally. Dolphins are highly intelligent marine mammals, and obviously recognize the importance of China’s role in international trade to the ‘greater good’ of the planet as a whole.

As such, a large task force of Anti-Pirate Dolphins has been taking matters into their own, erm, hands in the Gulf of Aden, foiling an attack of Somalian pirates on Chinese freight ships. The pirates could only “lament their littleness” in the face of overwhelming odds, as reported by China Daily.

Hold on. Why would dolphins come to the aid of Chinese ships, and not the poor old Americans or French, whose special forces have to go a lot of effort to rescue captured sailors. Or is there something else going on here?

Could it be that THIS is where the vast un-disclosed sums of military investment are being channeled? Fleets of remote controlled dolphins, indistinguishable from real ones by sonar, pirates and ordinary swimmers, these friendly looking robo-fins can roam the oceans un-hindered. Remember. You read it here first!