The Secret Life Of The Laowai

In a previous a blog post I complained about how Chinese textbooks aimed at foreigners seem to have a rather incorrect idea about the life of the foreign students. In these books, Ai Mi, Bi De and Da Wei are constantly discussing school, Chinese food and tourist sights. Typical foreign students’ activities such as getting gloriously drunk on bajiu or, as was suggested among the comments to the earlier post: buying illegal substances or a hacked iPhone, do not seem to be a part of their life.

The people at Shanghai’s Public Security Bureau, however, seem to have a much clearer idea of the foreign student’s character. When I went to register my new address for a temporary residence permit in downtown Shanghai I was given a handy leaflet entitled “I am 老外（laowai)”. The leaflet turned out to be a comic book, with Tom, an American language student in China as the hero.

Tom, a blond guy in baggy jeans, who wears a short sleeved shirt over a long sleeved shirt, is definitely more of a typical laowai student than Da Wei or Ai Mi. On his first day of school Tom shows up for his class badly bruised. It turns out that he has been in a fight after watching the World Cup in a bar (although why Tom, an American, would pick a fight with an Italian who slanders the Polish team is not quite clear). This sequence is followed by a helpful tip: “Police may mediate fighting arising from civil disputes or damaging other’s properties if these offenses are minor. Parties involved won’t be penalized by police if they reach an agreement through police mediation”.

Tom then goes on to drive a car without a Chinese driver’s license; he gets robbed of his wallet and finally attends a party with other exchange students. This party comes to a sudden ending when police arrive on the scene, called there because of the loud music. Once there, the police discover that two of the foreigners have been taking drugs. Tom, luckily, said no when he was offered a suspicious looking blue pill and so gets to stay behind while the police escort the guilty ones away.

Now I am only hoping that the textbook writers will learn from this more realistic way of writing. Maybe they can recruit someone from the Public Security Bureau to teach them about the habits of the laowais.